A heart attack?

Big excitement at Dungan manor last night.

So, there I was, sleeping soundly. After 38 years of practice I am actually pretty good at it. I can put my head on the pillow and sleep right through the night.

At about 12:30 I turned over. I noticed a pretty significant pain in my chest. It immediately woke me from my slumber. I rolled over on to my back to try and figure out what was going on. At first the pain intensified. It went straight through to my back. Just left of my my breast bone it was right were imagined my heart to be. A different pain traveled up my neck/esophagus and seemed to just sit there in my throat.

I was beginning to get scared. Thankfully, and rather quickly after I rolled over the pain began to subside.

My hands became tingly and felt numb.

I had to wake up Lynley.

I reached over and brushed her shoulder. She shot up out of bed. "What? What is going on?"

Jeez, if I was not already having one, she damn near gave us both a heart attack.

I just tried to stay calm. However, all of a sudden, I was washed over by a cold clamminess and I began to shiver.

I explained to her what was happening. I said pretty matter of factly "I don't know what a heart attack is supposed to feel like but I think I might be having one." She pulled out her trusty iPhone (it is never too far from her) and looked up the symptoms. It turned out I scored pretty high.

However, now I was recovering. Other than a little "coldness" I was becoming symptomless. We debated for a few minutes about what to do and the logistics. She we call 9-1-1? Should I drive to the hospital? What about the kiddos? Should I call my mother to come watch them?

Was I just mental?

After a few minutes we elected to call 9-1-1 and take it from there. We knew enough to know that the symptoms could come and go. It was the safest course of action. I grabbed my sweats, some tennis shoes, and my wallet. Lynley called 9-1-1 and with in 2 or 3 minutes the fire trucks and ambulances were outside the house and 6 people were standing around me.

Pretty surreal.

I was still pretty symptomless and I felt mental, but, better safe than sorry.

They loaded me up in the ambulance and the they shot me full of questions. It was not long before I was hooked up to several leads and the EKG was printing the results.

The good news. The EKG looked perfectly good. Heart rate was good. Sugar was good. Blood pressure was pretty high, 156/94, but heck I was sitting in an ambulance in the middle of the street.

I had pretty much resigned myself to heading off to the hospital but, now, being symptomless and some pretty good results with the EKG I had the option of staying home and going to see the doctor in the morning to get some blood work done. It was against "medical advice" (as it should be) but it was a reasonable choice given the results of my tests and my current condition.

So, that is what we elected to do. This morning I am sitting in my favorite place on the couch very comfortably. I slept pretty well the rest of the night and the kiddos were none the wiser.

I told you. It was pretty exciting around here last night. I am just hoping this diary entry isn't my last.

My purpose will be a little different today.

Twerps in Wonderland

Good morning! We have survived another weekend with the twerplets. That is saying quite a bit considering the fact it rained all day yesterday. This meant we spent pretty much the entire day inside. That is too small of a space for 3 wild rug rats. So, we decided to break up some of the couped up chaos with a trip to see Alice in Wonderland in 3d.

Surprisingly, at 11:00 AM (20 minutes before the movie was set to begin) the theater was already jam packed leaving the only space where we could sit next to each other in the very front row of the theater. We were debating leaving when we were told by one of the waitresses that it was the best place in the theater to see the 3d. We decided to give it a shot.

I know, we are suckers...

Viewing the screen during the previews was almost sickening. There is something about seeing that much action, that close that was enough to just about send us in to convulsions. However, after they asked us to put on the 3d glasses the issue seemed to melt away. Outside of a little pain in the neck from looking up, the experience was actually pretty good. I can't speak for the effects behind us but I can tell you that the 3D experience that we enjoyed was exceptional. However, given a choice, I think the next time I will go back to sitting in the center of the theater.

So, in the end, we enjoyed the movie. The movie itself wasn't exceptional but it was entertaining. I can definitely suggest seeing this in a 3d theater. I don't know that I would have enjoyed it nearly as much without the 3d. The kiddos enjoyed it as well. Sydney and Graham both gave it a good rating. It was their "middle" favorite - whatever that means. Oddly enough Ainsley stated that she liked it a little bit and did not like it a lot. That was a typical Dungan female statement if I ever heard one and, like the others, I have no clue what it means. She seemed content to sit and watch the entire movie, only wanting to hop in Lynley's lap during the last 15 minutes or so. I give that a four year old sitting still rating of 3.5 out of 5 stars.

The great news was that the movie seemed to placate the little monsters. They spent a relaxing afternoon doing crafts in the kitchen while Lynley and I went about our chores. Graham and I would cap off the end of the afternoon by conquering a few levels in Wii Lego Star Wars.

That relaxation was all good as we have a busy week ahead. This is the last week before spring break so you can bet that both Lynley and I have to a lot to get done in preparation of a week of juggling kiddos. Sydney and Graham are jam packed with Tae Kwon Do practices this week in preparation for the Texas State Taekwondo Championship this weekend. They will have multiple practices on Monday and Wednesday and even a few private lessons thrown in for good measure. On Thursday they will rest in preparation for their weigh-ins on Friday night in Frisco (about an hour away). This week will also bring a 2nd grade fossil hunt field trip for Sydney on Wednesday as well as their usual litany of homework and parental abuse.

It well be a well deserved spring break for them.

Well I had best be off. As you can tell, plenty of purpose awaits.

Itchy and Scratchy

With our newest puppy came something we weren't expecting - ring worm. It was not long after he arrived that he started losing hair in little circle patches. Frankly, for a new puppy, that was a better diagnosis than many of the other diseases and conditions that we imagined. I guess that ability comes from our years of experience with neuroblastoma. Our minds were trained to look for the worst and work our way backward.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I am still mental.

Regardless, our newest member had ring worm. As you might imagine, it was not long before it started appearing on the girls. Sydney was the first with a nickel sized spot appearing on her right cheek. Ainsley, however, bore the brunt of it. Her arms are covered and there are almost too many spots to count. We have slathered her in antifungal but we are still very much fighting from behind. For several days, her condition was hidden by her sleeves and we only noticed as a result her obsessive scratching. Of course, at that point, she had pretty much spread it up and down and from one arm to the other.

It is contagious stuff.

In fact, even Lynley has fallen victim. As usual, so far us boys have stayed immune. Either that or we are just less fungi. Is that even a word? Regardless, us boys have no sign of the stuff.

We are starting to develop a pattern here. I don't know what it is but this is about the tenth diagnosis in a row were the boys have remained unaffected. I don't know what that says about us boys but it sure seems strange.

Perhaps, we are just not as cuddly.

Or, perhaps, girls really do have cooties.

Well, I had best be off. It is time to slather the girls in antifungal and cover them with band aids.

What a beautiful way to start a new day of purpose.

The monster is still out there.

Good morning! So, Sydney just came down stairs with a bloody nose. She was also complaining that she barely slept all night. What is the first thing that goes through my mind?

What are her platelets? Is neuroblastoma somehow chewing them up?

Boy am I mental...

It always amazes me how quickly my mind can go back there - back to treatment, back to the worry, and back to nightmare. While logically I know her bloody nose is probably due to the lack of humidity going on in our house and that, combined with her stuffiness (and probably some probing by her finger - eeew!), is probably the source of her problem. Yet, the first thing that comes to mind is - neuroblastoma. It happens so quickly. Before I even have a moment to think that familiar lump is back in my throat and it feels like all of the air has left me.

After 7 years...

Wow.

Now, don't get me wrong. I don't walk around everyday with the monster sitting on my shoulder. I still fear it. It is always there. But, life is good. While I still can't say that there is a day that I do not think about neuroblastoma, I think that is largely due to my purpose and the fact that everyday I am talking to another parent about the disease.

Neuroblastoma doesn't cripple us. It is a part of our lives and it always will be. There are good days. In fact, there are great days and every one of them I am thankful for. But, in that same sense, it is still there. It quietly haunts us.

After 7 years, I am beginning to wonder if that fear response will ever go away.

I doubt it.

The monster is still out there and it has touched my soul. I won't be able to truly rest until it is defeated.

Now, that is mental. And, that is me.

But, then again, that is also purpose.

A Day Chock Full of Neuroblastoma

Yesterday was a busy neuroblastoma day. No, not to worry, this was not about Sydney. This was about doing work for the foundation, however, Sydney was in tow and we had a great morning. I must be honest, I prefer these types of days but, unfortunately, they don't pay the bills. Until I can get some grants in the door I am going to continue to be relegated to working on neuroblastoma part time. The fact of the matter is that when we say we raise money for research or or we fund raise for a particular neuroblastoma education project it is just that. We don't funnel dollars into administrative expenses and the like. So, unless we find people interested in supporting a salary so that we can go out and help and educate families full time we are left with doing it on a volunteer basis. That is okay. I just feel that there is just so much more that we could be doing. The good news is that good neuroblastoma work continues to be done.

Yesterday Sydney went with me to the Chesapeake Energy building. Chesapeake has agreed to help us generate some awareness about neuroblastoma and has been generous in providing us with a pulpit to speak. They provided that opportunity to Sydney as well but, she will be the first to tell you that she was a bit too embarrassed to be up in front of all of those people. It did not take long to relieve her of the dear in the headlights look and she ended up making it through with flying colors The most important point being that we had another great opportunity to talk about neuroblastoma, the problems our children face, and what we can do to help them. I am thankful to Chesapeake for the opportunity and the support.

After that, I made my usual stop by Cook's to visit with the families and many of our friends. It is also a good opportunity to spread a little hope. I remember when Sydney was in treatment and I saw another family that had a child that was 5 years out from their stage 4 diagnosis. That little pass in the hall put a little lift in my step for weeks.

My visit was short lived though as I had a meeting with the NB Love Club to talk about the many neuroblastoma projects going on. Most notable in my mind was the 3rd Annual Neuroblastoma Walk for a Cure coming up in April. With each year the event has grown exponentially and I am very much hoping for the same this year. This is an important year for the Walk as it will be funding an important project at Cook's which will help bring MIBG therapy to the great state of Texas. Assuming we can do our job the funds raised by this year's walk will go to help make Cook's the first hospital in the state of Texas to offer MIBG therapy. In fact, it will be the first in our entire region with the next closest MIBG center being located in Cincinnati, OH. This "little" addition will bring a litany of new neuroblastoma research projects and clinical trials to Cook's, further cementing its place amongst the worlds leaders in neuroblastoma treatment. There are few hospitals in the world that can make that distinction. Cook's will be able to offer more clinical options than many of even the best known neuroblastoma centers - yes, even including Sloan Kettering.

Of course, all of this rest on our shoulders - or, should I say our feet.

I am working on the website for the Neuroblastoma Walk for a Cure and should have it completed for registration in the next few days. Until then ----

SAVE THE DATE -- April 3rd, 2010

See, I told you it was a purposeful neuroblastoma day.

A Medieval Adventure

Good morning! Well, the Dunganlets made it through another successful weekend. The highlight was the celebration of Grahamster's 6th birthday. On Saturday evening we invited two of his friends, Bryce and Bryce, for a fun filled evening at Medieval Times. It turned out that there would be nine of us in attendance. This meant that we would need to take two cars. Somehow, I ended up driving the suburban assault vehicle with the 5 kiddos, while my wife, mother, and mother-in-law drove comfortably in a Mercedes. I know, many will not be surprised that I was stuck in the kiddo car, but I would have appreciated a little help in the chaos department.

In all due honest,y the kiddos and I had a great time. It was loud and raucous but nowhere near as chaotic as the little adrenaline-filled sword-wielding kiddos would make the drive home. Let's just leave it at this: I should have known better that to sit three little sugar-filled 6 year old plastic sword carrying little boys right next to each other. The good news is that there were no injuries. It was just a very, very boisterous car ride home.

For those of you that have never been to Medieval Times dinner and tournament, it is exactly what it sounds like. It is a little boy's dream come true (and a mothers as well, but, I will get to that later. The whole experience is staged around the idea of a 11th century medieval tournament complete with princesses, knights, horses, jousting, and sword fighting. All of the patrons sit around an indoor arena while the action takes place on a dirt floor in the center. Food is served in period fashion. There are no forks and knives. It is all fingers. The fair was not bad. It included a piece of garlic bread, tomato bisque soup, a hunk of potato, a side of chicken, a pork spare rib, and an apple turnover. All in all, again, not bad, but the treat is really the show - not the food.

I must admit it was all pretty impressive. With six knights battling to win the tournament with every weapon imaginable and fighting at full force I was quite impressed. Lynley was impressed as well, but I think that is more because she finally discovered what Chippendale's dancers did when they were not stripping. Apparently they bring their muscles and there long flowing locks to Medieval Times for a nice workout with swords. For those that were not Chippendale's dancers, they must have come straight from shooting covers for trashy romance novels. None the less, my point is, while us boys were grunting at the violent action playing out before us the girls were undoubtedly captivated by some other action playing out in their minds.

All in all, the point is that we all really had a pretty good time. It is one of those things that, if you ever get the chance, is probably worth your while. I am glad we added that notch to our belts but I have no designs on returning soon. Although, Ainsley is already trying to convince us to have her birthday party there as well.

Most importantly, Graham had a great time and a spectacular birthday.

Fully rested, we are all ready to get back to purpose.

I wish tomorrow was my 6th birthday.

So often in life we big "smart" adults get wrapped up in all of this work stuff. Day to day we do all of this very important stuff. This "stuff" is critical. The "stuff" that I do is often so important that I often work through lunch. In fact, everyday I get up at 3 or 4 in the morning so that I can get more "stuff" done.

It is not just me. Lynley has important "stuff" too. She gets up just as early as I do. She is in important meetings everyday and, like every one else, seems to always be working to get all of this stuff done.

We sacrifice a lot of our lives for "stuff." We stay up late, get up early, work through lunch and even through the weekends. We have all of this important stuff to do and we sacrifice our lives a piece of ourselves for it.

Why?

You know, I have worked straight through most of my birthdays. They have always been busy days but probably no busier than any normal day. Yet, about the only time that I allow myself to veer away from the tasks of the important stuff at hand is to sit down with the family to open presents and eat cake. My birthday isn't special. It is all for them. After all, I am an adult. I have important stuff to do. I mean, come on, it was only a birthday. I am too important and grown up for birthdays.

But, should I be?

Graham on the other hand, took his birthday and used it as a celebration of life. He prioritized his time and his life to be all about his birthday. Did you know that we sang Happy birthday to him all the way to school ( a 30 minute drive ) and when he got tired of that we decided to sing him "You lost that loving feeling." He even got to wear a big birthday crown at school. They announced his name on the announcements. He had cookie cake. He was the center of attention. The entire day was about him. He bathed in the glory and enjoyed soaking up every minute of it. For one day he truly got to enjoy being who he was and celebrate that. It was happy and joyous. It is a day he will remember all year long. His birthday was a blast.

Which one of us is right about birthdays?

Isn't a birthday something we all deserve? Don't we all deserve one day to celebrate who we are -- one joyous day to hug our kids, kiss our spouses, and bask in the glory and joy of who we are and what we have accomplished?

I know I don't let myself. After all, I am too busy prioritizing and doing all of that important "stuff" I do. Ironically, I can't even remember half of the important stuff I had to do last week and I would have no clue of what life and death things I did last month without reviewing my trusty calendar.

If you ask me, this is one of those things that us adults get all wrong. Do you remember when your birthday was one of the best days of the year? Do you remember when you used to look forward to it for weeks? It was a great feeling, wasn't it?

Now, can you remember the last time you felt that way? When was the last time you had a memorable birthday that you genuinely enjoyed and did not prioritize away.

Birthdays are one thing that us adults get wrong. Perhaps, we should learn a little from our kiddos. A little giddiness would probably go a long way.

Once again, we can't see the forest for all of the trees.

Sometimes we need to be our own purpose.