The big prize

Today begins a pretty big hurdle in two of the twerplets lives. After school today we will be traveling to Frisco, Texas for the first part of what is a very important weekend for the kiddos. You see, between 4:00 PM and 10:00 PM today, the kiddos must appear to be weighed in for the 2010 Texas State Tae Kwon Do Championships.

For them this is no small tournament, this is the gateway to the US Junior Olympics in Orlando, Florida and, most importantly to them, a trip to Disney World. Based on their most recent performances you might think that they would be a shoe in, but, this is a different animal. With over 700 competitors from all over the State of Texas this will be the largest competition in which they have ever participated. There will be more competition, more pressure, and a much larger prize - a golden ticket to the US Junior Olympics.

The pressure is on.

For me, it is about grounding them. Personally, I don't care if they win. You know my mantra. The battle is in the journey. Let's be realistic, they have only been doing this for little more than a year and they have only been fighting competitively and seriously for less than 6 months. It would be unfair to expect world domination. However, I can expect them to give it 100% for ever second of the multiple matches they will face. Their biggest battle will be in facing their fears. And, in that battle, their is no doubt in my mind that they will come out as grand champions. It is that journey, in this high stakes game, that is so important for them to experience. If they can just endure, they will come out with an incredible life experience and much better for it.

So, again, tonight is weigh in. All of the fun begins early tomorrow morning. The kiddos are competing in both sparring and in forms. It will be a long haul, 12 hours of competition, and both will have to compete multiple times in both sparring and forms. Gauging by the competition it looks like Graham will have the most. He will have to spar in a minimum of 3 matches and it could be many more. Thankfully, Sydney has less competition but it will not be an easy walk in the park. The good news is that she looks to be at the top of her weight division which should give her an edge.

Once again, you will be able to follow all of the action on twitter. Lynley will be tweeting from her @ldungan account and I will be doing the same from @mdungan. We will see who provides better coverage.

So, there you have it. Another big milestone in the Dunganlets lives.

This is going to be fun.

This is one of those times that we get to see the purpose pay off.

Do you ever wish life's little lessons were easier to learn.

Good morning! First off, thank you for all of the nice email and messages. The good news is that I am not a goner yet. At least, no one seems to think so. I was able to get into my primary care physician first thing yesterday morning and he was able to repeat all of the tests from the night before. Once again, everything came back great. It seems that if I did have a minor heart attack it at least did not appear to do much damage and, just as importantly, it did not appear to be progressing. Now the trick seems to be in finding out exactly what happened.

Today will be a day of more tests. I had to fast before I completed some of the tests so that is the reason they were waiting to run all of the blood today. Fasting stinks but the good news for me is that I am allowed to have black coffee. It doesn't get any better for me. If I can have black coffee, anything is possible. Not to worry, I drink half caff.

See, I can drink four pots for the price of two.

No, I don't actually drink four pots of coffee a day. However, I heard that you get to in heaven.

Enough nonsense.

Not being able to drink coffee was not actually my biggest concern. What, if anything, to tell the kiddos was actually my biggest worry. I don't want to scare them by any means. But, I do think honesty is important. Furthermore, I really believe that there are lessons in this to be learned by them. I don't think this is an incident to skim over. It needs to be dealt with and discussed. There are hundreds of lessons for them in this one incident. Everything from reinforcing calling 9-1-1 to eating healthy and exercising to help prevent and delay many health problems. The gravity of the situation, at least in my mind, is also a great reminder of the fragility of life and my duty to my family.

Like neuroblastoma, this, in a small way, is a great tool to put things in perspective. It is a new opportunity to prioritize. It is a great reminder.

I just wish these little ribbons on my finger did not have to come from such serious episodes.

Wouldn't it be nice if these little shocks to our system could come without the threat of death?

Like neuroblastoma, I can't say that I am glad this little cardiac episode entered my life but, once again, I can see that some good that has come with it. I will use this as another learning experience and make the best of what I can with it.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

I know for sure my purpose is.

A heart attack?

Big excitement at Dungan manor last night.

So, there I was, sleeping soundly. After 38 years of practice I am actually pretty good at it. I can put my head on the pillow and sleep right through the night.

At about 12:30 I turned over. I noticed a pretty significant pain in my chest. It immediately woke me from my slumber. I rolled over on to my back to try and figure out what was going on. At first the pain intensified. It went straight through to my back. Just left of my my breast bone it was right were imagined my heart to be. A different pain traveled up my neck/esophagus and seemed to just sit there in my throat.

I was beginning to get scared. Thankfully, and rather quickly after I rolled over the pain began to subside.

My hands became tingly and felt numb.

I had to wake up Lynley.

I reached over and brushed her shoulder. She shot up out of bed. "What? What is going on?"

Jeez, if I was not already having one, she damn near gave us both a heart attack.

I just tried to stay calm. However, all of a sudden, I was washed over by a cold clamminess and I began to shiver.

I explained to her what was happening. I said pretty matter of factly "I don't know what a heart attack is supposed to feel like but I think I might be having one." She pulled out her trusty iPhone (it is never too far from her) and looked up the symptoms. It turned out I scored pretty high.

However, now I was recovering. Other than a little "coldness" I was becoming symptomless. We debated for a few minutes about what to do and the logistics. She we call 9-1-1? Should I drive to the hospital? What about the kiddos? Should I call my mother to come watch them?

Was I just mental?

After a few minutes we elected to call 9-1-1 and take it from there. We knew enough to know that the symptoms could come and go. It was the safest course of action. I grabbed my sweats, some tennis shoes, and my wallet. Lynley called 9-1-1 and with in 2 or 3 minutes the fire trucks and ambulances were outside the house and 6 people were standing around me.

Pretty surreal.

I was still pretty symptomless and I felt mental, but, better safe than sorry.

They loaded me up in the ambulance and the they shot me full of questions. It was not long before I was hooked up to several leads and the EKG was printing the results.

The good news. The EKG looked perfectly good. Heart rate was good. Sugar was good. Blood pressure was pretty high, 156/94, but heck I was sitting in an ambulance in the middle of the street.

I had pretty much resigned myself to heading off to the hospital but, now, being symptomless and some pretty good results with the EKG I had the option of staying home and going to see the doctor in the morning to get some blood work done. It was against "medical advice" (as it should be) but it was a reasonable choice given the results of my tests and my current condition.

So, that is what we elected to do. This morning I am sitting in my favorite place on the couch very comfortably. I slept pretty well the rest of the night and the kiddos were none the wiser.

I told you. It was pretty exciting around here last night. I am just hoping this diary entry isn't my last.

My purpose will be a little different today.

Twerps in Wonderland

Good morning! We have survived another weekend with the twerplets. That is saying quite a bit considering the fact it rained all day yesterday. This meant we spent pretty much the entire day inside. That is too small of a space for 3 wild rug rats. So, we decided to break up some of the couped up chaos with a trip to see Alice in Wonderland in 3d.

Surprisingly, at 11:00 AM (20 minutes before the movie was set to begin) the theater was already jam packed leaving the only space where we could sit next to each other in the very front row of the theater. We were debating leaving when we were told by one of the waitresses that it was the best place in the theater to see the 3d. We decided to give it a shot.

I know, we are suckers...

Viewing the screen during the previews was almost sickening. There is something about seeing that much action, that close that was enough to just about send us in to convulsions. However, after they asked us to put on the 3d glasses the issue seemed to melt away. Outside of a little pain in the neck from looking up, the experience was actually pretty good. I can't speak for the effects behind us but I can tell you that the 3D experience that we enjoyed was exceptional. However, given a choice, I think the next time I will go back to sitting in the center of the theater.

So, in the end, we enjoyed the movie. The movie itself wasn't exceptional but it was entertaining. I can definitely suggest seeing this in a 3d theater. I don't know that I would have enjoyed it nearly as much without the 3d. The kiddos enjoyed it as well. Sydney and Graham both gave it a good rating. It was their "middle" favorite - whatever that means. Oddly enough Ainsley stated that she liked it a little bit and did not like it a lot. That was a typical Dungan female statement if I ever heard one and, like the others, I have no clue what it means. She seemed content to sit and watch the entire movie, only wanting to hop in Lynley's lap during the last 15 minutes or so. I give that a four year old sitting still rating of 3.5 out of 5 stars.

The great news was that the movie seemed to placate the little monsters. They spent a relaxing afternoon doing crafts in the kitchen while Lynley and I went about our chores. Graham and I would cap off the end of the afternoon by conquering a few levels in Wii Lego Star Wars.

That relaxation was all good as we have a busy week ahead. This is the last week before spring break so you can bet that both Lynley and I have to a lot to get done in preparation of a week of juggling kiddos. Sydney and Graham are jam packed with Tae Kwon Do practices this week in preparation for the Texas State Taekwondo Championship this weekend. They will have multiple practices on Monday and Wednesday and even a few private lessons thrown in for good measure. On Thursday they will rest in preparation for their weigh-ins on Friday night in Frisco (about an hour away). This week will also bring a 2nd grade fossil hunt field trip for Sydney on Wednesday as well as their usual litany of homework and parental abuse.

It well be a well deserved spring break for them.

Well I had best be off. As you can tell, plenty of purpose awaits.

Itchy and Scratchy

With our newest puppy came something we weren't expecting - ring worm. It was not long after he arrived that he started losing hair in little circle patches. Frankly, for a new puppy, that was a better diagnosis than many of the other diseases and conditions that we imagined. I guess that ability comes from our years of experience with neuroblastoma. Our minds were trained to look for the worst and work our way backward.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I am still mental.

Regardless, our newest member had ring worm. As you might imagine, it was not long before it started appearing on the girls. Sydney was the first with a nickel sized spot appearing on her right cheek. Ainsley, however, bore the brunt of it. Her arms are covered and there are almost too many spots to count. We have slathered her in antifungal but we are still very much fighting from behind. For several days, her condition was hidden by her sleeves and we only noticed as a result her obsessive scratching. Of course, at that point, she had pretty much spread it up and down and from one arm to the other.

It is contagious stuff.

In fact, even Lynley has fallen victim. As usual, so far us boys have stayed immune. Either that or we are just less fungi. Is that even a word? Regardless, us boys have no sign of the stuff.

We are starting to develop a pattern here. I don't know what it is but this is about the tenth diagnosis in a row were the boys have remained unaffected. I don't know what that says about us boys but it sure seems strange.

Perhaps, we are just not as cuddly.

Or, perhaps, girls really do have cooties.

Well, I had best be off. It is time to slather the girls in antifungal and cover them with band aids.

What a beautiful way to start a new day of purpose.

The monster is still out there.

Good morning! So, Sydney just came down stairs with a bloody nose. She was also complaining that she barely slept all night. What is the first thing that goes through my mind?

What are her platelets? Is neuroblastoma somehow chewing them up?

Boy am I mental...

It always amazes me how quickly my mind can go back there - back to treatment, back to the worry, and back to nightmare. While logically I know her bloody nose is probably due to the lack of humidity going on in our house and that, combined with her stuffiness (and probably some probing by her finger - eeew!), is probably the source of her problem. Yet, the first thing that comes to mind is - neuroblastoma. It happens so quickly. Before I even have a moment to think that familiar lump is back in my throat and it feels like all of the air has left me.

After 7 years...

Wow.

Now, don't get me wrong. I don't walk around everyday with the monster sitting on my shoulder. I still fear it. It is always there. But, life is good. While I still can't say that there is a day that I do not think about neuroblastoma, I think that is largely due to my purpose and the fact that everyday I am talking to another parent about the disease.

Neuroblastoma doesn't cripple us. It is a part of our lives and it always will be. There are good days. In fact, there are great days and every one of them I am thankful for. But, in that same sense, it is still there. It quietly haunts us.

After 7 years, I am beginning to wonder if that fear response will ever go away.

I doubt it.

The monster is still out there and it has touched my soul. I won't be able to truly rest until it is defeated.

Now, that is mental. And, that is me.

But, then again, that is also purpose.

A Day Chock Full of Neuroblastoma

Yesterday was a busy neuroblastoma day. No, not to worry, this was not about Sydney. This was about doing work for the foundation, however, Sydney was in tow and we had a great morning. I must be honest, I prefer these types of days but, unfortunately, they don't pay the bills. Until I can get some grants in the door I am going to continue to be relegated to working on neuroblastoma part time. The fact of the matter is that when we say we raise money for research or or we fund raise for a particular neuroblastoma education project it is just that. We don't funnel dollars into administrative expenses and the like. So, unless we find people interested in supporting a salary so that we can go out and help and educate families full time we are left with doing it on a volunteer basis. That is okay. I just feel that there is just so much more that we could be doing. The good news is that good neuroblastoma work continues to be done.

Yesterday Sydney went with me to the Chesapeake Energy building. Chesapeake has agreed to help us generate some awareness about neuroblastoma and has been generous in providing us with a pulpit to speak. They provided that opportunity to Sydney as well but, she will be the first to tell you that she was a bit too embarrassed to be up in front of all of those people. It did not take long to relieve her of the dear in the headlights look and she ended up making it through with flying colors The most important point being that we had another great opportunity to talk about neuroblastoma, the problems our children face, and what we can do to help them. I am thankful to Chesapeake for the opportunity and the support.

After that, I made my usual stop by Cook's to visit with the families and many of our friends. It is also a good opportunity to spread a little hope. I remember when Sydney was in treatment and I saw another family that had a child that was 5 years out from their stage 4 diagnosis. That little pass in the hall put a little lift in my step for weeks.

My visit was short lived though as I had a meeting with the NB Love Club to talk about the many neuroblastoma projects going on. Most notable in my mind was the 3rd Annual Neuroblastoma Walk for a Cure coming up in April. With each year the event has grown exponentially and I am very much hoping for the same this year. This is an important year for the Walk as it will be funding an important project at Cook's which will help bring MIBG therapy to the great state of Texas. Assuming we can do our job the funds raised by this year's walk will go to help make Cook's the first hospital in the state of Texas to offer MIBG therapy. In fact, it will be the first in our entire region with the next closest MIBG center being located in Cincinnati, OH. This "little" addition will bring a litany of new neuroblastoma research projects and clinical trials to Cook's, further cementing its place amongst the worlds leaders in neuroblastoma treatment. There are few hospitals in the world that can make that distinction. Cook's will be able to offer more clinical options than many of even the best known neuroblastoma centers - yes, even including Sloan Kettering.

Of course, all of this rest on our shoulders - or, should I say our feet.

I am working on the website for the Neuroblastoma Walk for a Cure and should have it completed for registration in the next few days. Until then ----

SAVE THE DATE -- April 3rd, 2010

See, I told you it was a purposeful neuroblastoma day.